Well jeepers, it's 2 years on and yep, back to it. I'm 20kg heavier than where I last left this blog... so clearly that last restart didn't go so well!
A lot has changed in the last 2 years, more than just gaining back all the weight... for memory I got back up to 88kg, then went on a pretty massive health kick, got back into personal training with Daniel (my ORIGINAL personal trainer from New World, I started going to him at his new studio, Pulse), and started eating healthily to prepare my body for hopefully carrying a baby in 2009/2010. The aim was to get to 70kg at least, before conceiving, but the divine powers that be decided that when I hit 80kg, it was time. So, on a stinking hot Thursday, 17th December 2009, my beautiful little boy, James Raymond, was brought into the world by c-section, and my world changed forever :) So, considering I only stopped my last 'diet' because I was pregnant, I consider this me just picking up where I left off.
During my pregnancy I gained 21kg, and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 28 weeks. So, got up to over 100kg and man that freaks me out. 152cm and 101kg - no wonder I could hardly walk and my back decided it didn't want to co-operate much past my 8th month. Hence the elective caesarean. James was born at 37 weeks and 4 days, perfectly healthy, with APGAR scores of 9 and 9. Much to my relief, James was not affected at all by my obesity. I don't think I could have lived with myself if my stupidity and weakness had adversely affected my baby. Alas, we now have a healthy, happy and thriving little man - it was obviously meant to be.
So, the reason for my return? I wanna get skinny. However, this time my motivations and goals are different, while still being the same, if that makes any sense what so ever (hmm, perhaps I shouldn't blog whilst watching Neighbours, it makes me sound all baby-brainish). What I was trying to say...
I want to be around to see my son grow up. Not only do I want to be alive, I want to be happy to be alive. I want to be happy when I look in the mirror. Or not even happy to start with, just to feel moderate non-self-hatred when I see myself in a mirror or a photograph. I want to rediscover my passion for taking photos of myself while holding the camera out as far as I can with one arm, without having to tilt my head so far up that you can see clearly the extent of my nose hygiene to hide my double chin, or make sure I don't put my head to far to the side and squish my cheek and overflow-chin fat too much...
I want to get excited about going out somewhere again, and I want to get excited about picking an outfit to wear that doesn't make me look like I am still 6 months pregnant. Coz it's not a good look, when out with my 2 month old son, looking pregnant... "pssstt... she didn't waste any time"
It's the tummy that drives me absolutely nuts, and it was there in the time B.J. (Before James) - so no excuses there. Why my body decides to store everything there, I don't know, but I do know if it wasn't there (and I did get a glimpse of myself sans huge stomach - while leaning into the change table and hiding it - in James' wardrobe mirror the other day, and I didn't half dislike what I saw), I'd be well on my way to being happy.
Plan A: Reduce stomach size to appear only 3 months pregnant with food-baby.
Then there's the pain. Back, knees, ankles, feet... this tiny frame was not built to carry 100kg. Well I'm not 100kg any more, more like 92kg, but still - not built for it. According to BMI a healthy weight for my height would be 48-52kg. Sounds good to me. Sounds far away too.
Fast forward to the present day.
Today I restarted the Tony Ferguson weight loss program. Day 1 is going well, only 'naughty' think I've eaten is a lite plastic cheese single because I'm bloody hungry, and didn't get the lamb roast in the oven early enough. Gotta love the first few weeks of stomach shrinking and feeling stupidly hungry and weird. Feeling nice and positive though, and it's a bit easier being at home and being able to organise food, and be in control.
Initial goals for the mum-on-a-mission challenge are as follows:
1. I WILL lose at least 5kg by the time we fly to Melbourne for Damien's wedding at the beginning of April. I will also buy a new outfit for this wedding and hopefully not feel or look completely horrid in it. To achieve this, I am aiming for a killer first week on TF, hopefully losing 2-3kg. Then, I have nearly 3 weeks to lose the remaining 2-3kg. Definitely doable. Heck, it's smashable! (insert line from old Burgen advertisement here)
2. I will lose all the baby weight, 12kg, by the end of May 2010. This equates to an average of just over a kilo a week. Doable, but it'll take a few big losses to even out the slower weeks.
That's all I want to set at this stage - but the main aim is to be down to at LEAST 70kg before falling pregnant with Spud the Sequel. And I've got ages to do it in... so no pressure. Right?
Right. Insert Burgen ad again. Looking forward to week 1 being over, and getting back into personal training with Daniel on Friday.
Need to change that 'before' picture too. I'd be stoked if I still looked like that now. Funny how everything is relative!
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